Irony

I had an unhealthy day by my standards. one whole packet of peanut dark choc m&m's during lecture. 1 scoop of ice cream after swim training. alot of curry for dinner. but heck it.

anyway, did a target 800m set during swim training today. i played it conservatively, and it showed when i came back with a time of 11:33 (1:19, 1:27, 1:28, 1:27, 1:28, 1:27, 1:28, 1:26) was quite disappointed with myself after that.

i was in my own little world for a while after that, cant really describe how unhappy i was with myself, for not pushing hard enough and o keep the pace.

then zy and christine were gonna do their 400m target. an idea popped into my head, asked coach whether i could do it with them, he said ok.

this time there was no mistake about it. i pushed myself hard, injecting hard 50m's in b/w the swim to make sure i kept the pace up. and partly cause i was fuelled by my own anger at myself for letting myself down previously.

i red lined through out the 400m, and when i finished, i came up to see a look of surprise on coach's face. i asked what the time was, and he told me 5:32.

a ray of sunshine shone in my mind. that was a PB for a 400m. i cant remember my splits, but i remember how hard i drove myself, and it was almost like i dared my body to fail on me throughout the swim, fuelled by the disappointment of the previous set.

i got my confidence was back.

lesson learnt: i need a long warm up this saturday, plus a bit of fast 100's as well. and i have to remember to keep pushing myself throughout the 1500m, inject the speed now and then to make sure i dun get too comfortable. if it feels easy then i must be going too slow.

this saturday. i will/must not let myself down during the race. i wun win, but i'll make sure that i damn near push myself hard enough to make it count.