eeemooo - a sneak peek into my private life

i've never had a really proper official relationship in my life. not that i have been a flirt or anything. it's just that somehow i end up in relationships that are more complicated than they should be. i always did things one at a time. i am not as "pro" as to juggle multiple relationships at one go.

the first time, i was a rebound for someone.

second time she and i both expressed interest, but we didnt make it official because she didnt want to. it then ended cause she didnt want to commit. i respect that and it ended.

third was someone that led me on and then pulled the carpet out from beneath me by getting together with someone else. maybe i misunderstood the signals, cant really blame her.

fourth was a long affair. we both expressed interest again but she wasnt ready, so i waited. this became a two year long wait until i finally was convinced that it was better we became friends. i matured alot because of this.

fifth was like a match. burned out fast. i made a mistake on this one, by not listening to God's voice. a relief i didnt take it any further than i should not have.

sixth (and the latest) was bit confusing on my side. i committed so much into it, half knowing that it was a lost cause, a one sided thing. still i gave what i could, till when the realization struck me in the face in the end, i ran away, as far and as fast as i could.

curious thing is that i always make it a point to be back friends with all of them. to me, these ladies were all too good a friend for me to lose totally. i dun like to burn my bridges.

and now, it's been some time since i have felt for someone the way i do now, but i shall not rush it. as reinaldo colucci puts it (why am i quoting a pro triathlete on this), i shall "wait wait wait".

anything i will commit into now is for the long term.